Brand New Dance

Get up
Everybody on the dance floor, come on
I mean, you too, Chris
Haha

Well, it’s Friday night
No date for the prom
Just got carjackin’ off by your mom
Suspended from school for settin’ off the alarm
[King John?] keep screamin’, “He’s gonna drop the bomb”
But anyway, every day is the same old shit
Room lookin’ like a tornado hit it
Try to explain, your parents, they don’t get it
Time to hit you with a [?] rhythm
Let it roll, if you ready, we gon’ start the show
Everybody in the world, all across the globe
You can feel it in your head, down to your toes
Dance until you wheelchair bound, here we go
Yeah, horsеback, little do-si-do
Little soul mixed with somе rodeo
Everybody in the world’s gonna laugh to this
Shit, I’ll probably end up crippled after this
Come on

Clap your hands and stomp your feet
Everybody join together
And feel the funky beat
Everywhere you see people laughing, yeah
Dancing in the street
On the counter, yeah, everybody do
Go Christopher Reeves
One, two, three, follow me

Superman, Batman, Spiderman
Slip, found landed in a garbage can
Shit, hell, damn it, I can hardly stand
But I get it crackin’ like no one in the party can
Give me a beat, I’ll show you all a brand new dance
All I need is a stretcher and an ambulance
Now stand back, kids, don’t try this at this
Chi-boom, kick-boom, ah-oh
It’s a brand new craze and it’s sweepin’ the nation
Anything else is a cheap imitation
Just make sure that you videotape it
You can only do it once ‘fore the people go apeshit
It’s a crowd favorite, a party pleaser
It’s better than shakin’ like grandma’s seizer
So next time that you see grandma, tease her
And roll up in a fresh set of wheels all greased up

Clap your hands and stomp your feet
Everybody join together
And feel the funky beat
Everywhere you see people laughing, yeah
Dancing in the street
On the counter, yeah, everybody do
Go Christopher Reeves
One, two, three, follow me

If your arms, legs, feet, and your hands are numb
You’ve fallen and you can’t get up
It’s a brand-new dance, this is my Chris anthem, I’m
Givin’ Chris Reeves his chrysanthemums

I’ma have everybody jumpin’ to this
Caitlyn Jenner in the front row pumpin’ her fists
With a simple little twist and a flick of the wrist
A little snap of the neck and a slip of the disc
You just pull up a chair and grab a seat
And clap your hands and stomp your feet
Or stomp your hands and clap your feet
Flop around ‘til you lookin’ like a slab of meat
You put your left foot back, your right in front
Tip your head back, let it touch your butt
‘Til you feel a little pop, like what the fuck?
Motherfuck, fuck a duck, what the fuck? I’m stuck
So, party people, are you with me? What’s the deal?
If you real, grab your chair up by the wheel
If you wanna feel just like the Man of Steel
Windmillin’ on a million banana peels, come on

Clap your hands and stomp your feet
Everybody, twirl together
Can you feel the funky beat?
Everywhere you see people laughing and
Dancing in the street
On the count of three, everybody do
The Christopher Reeves
One, two, three, follow me

Woo
Good morning, Eminem
Or Marshall, as others have informed me
Christopher Reeves here
You had better not talk behind my back
Or I will kick your ass the minute I’m out of this chair
Watch yourself, Marshall
I’m watching you
Ah! Holy shit